Graceful Evolution = Uncertainty + Change + Surrender
Change has been in the air for sometime now, this message spoke directly to me the moment I saw it, so I've held these works close, revisiting them daily during this eclipse season.
"For as much as it hurts, new beginnings can happen only when somthing comes to an end. Evolution involves change, and to change, the outdated version of ourself needs to be left behind.
When the melancholy you feel is transmuted with awareness into gratitude for all you have been and experienced, you will know you have stepped forward, into a new version of you." - @oracleofyoursoul
I have always loved change, regardless of the challenges that come along with it, and I believe that's because at a soul level I am driven to heal & evolve into the highest version of myself. This isn't unique to only myself, this is the journey we are all on, we came here to grow and expand, and with that comes the energetic components that will create the conditions you need to bring you to your knees, and ultimately step into that new expanded and highest version of yourself.
So the circumstances in your life that are required to get you aligned with this new empowered, and expanded self will be unique to you. The Universe will bring you lessons in the form of triggers, obstacles, and challenges. The energy of this is contraction, pressure, friction, tension, stress, grief. As cyclical beings of the earth, contrary to societal opinion and values, we are not exempt from universal law, nor the laws of nature, we are part of nature, and the moment we embody this deep truth of our place in the natural world, that is the moment we allow ourselves to fully and complete surrender to a force that is far beyond our limited human minds.
Surrender is peace.
Surrender is trust.
Wisdom lives here.
I have been quiet, in this past winter cycle, I was living in the depth of my own discomfort and contraction. Everything was hard, but I was familiar with the energy from past experiences of it, so I just sunk in, and allowed myself to cave to the hermit life, and feel all the emotions that surfaced day after day. All the familiar defeating thoughts were witnessed and acknowledged. I held myself with the gentleness and care that my inner child needed. I had big ugly cry's regularly and practiced not making meaning of it. It was simply an opportunity to release emotion that was ready to come up and out, it didn't have to mean anymore then that, because in fact the next day I was in a whole new space, which was usually expansive and joyful.
The skills & tools I've had the privilege of acquiring over the years has been essential to this process of moving energy during challenging times. I have taught these practices for two years now, and despite some amazing feedback, I have always felt there were "pieces missing" or that the way I taught and shared in the world was temporary. I feel that strongly now. I'm destined to step into something greater, more impactful.
You see, in the process of this graceful evolution, this beautiful journey that we are all on, it doesn't require that you practice yoga per se, but it does require a commitment to yourself and doing the inner work.
Meeting yourself day after day, observing your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. It requires a willingness to do that work, and to enter into the unknown, relinquishing control and learning to trust in something greater.
The timeline Is also an unknown force which we must surrender to, many of us are conditioned to initiate, create goals and concrete plans for the future, framing ourselves in a limited timeline and attaching to an outcome. Though there is never anything wrong with goals, visions and planning in themselves, it's more about our intent and mindset when we embark on the journey and our attachment to it unfolding in a particular way at a particular time that can bring us the hard uncomfortable lessons we'd prefer not to have.
Regardless, every circumstance is ultimately for our own growth and expansion.
In January, I started a membership site called Making Sacred, with the intention of combining yoga, breath work, and meditation with cyclical living practices and celebrations. Basically just offering up the sacred practices I have cultivated in my own life, and has helped me immensely moving through the challenges of this awakening journey. I didn't anticipate the obsticles I would face, at the time I believed that an intention to serve would be enough to guarantee me an effortless experience.
But, I'm still in the depths of my shadow work, I was struck hard with many heavy emotions to process along the way, and I see clearly now that the entire offering, while beautiful and in service to others, was mostly in service to myself in form of hard lessons, hard truths, and as a means of clearing out all the old outdated, unhelpful constrictions and destructive self judgment.
It wasn't how I envisioned it at all, minus the lovely platform and website. There is something about communicating online that I feel has a very limited capacity for authentic exchange and therefore real transformation. Looking back, I didn't feel that I could commit to LIVE classes and events, so I opted for pre-recorded. Although I created some wonderful content, it didn't feel like I was using my energy in a useful way, I wasn't lit up like I had been in previous teaching roles.
I was keeping myself small, and trying to fit myself into this popular mold that so many others have created with success. I've learned that success for me is not the same as how others define it, and I'm learning to navigate what it means to me.
So here I am, at a place where I can acknowledge that I am evolving into something new, a higher more empowered version of myself. This means letting go of who I used to be and embracing who I am becoming. Enjoying the present self and the process, loving the journey, I have no idea what that will look like, but I don't need to. I trust, and surrender to whatever is in store for me next.
You have to close that door completely and walk away so that you can see the new doors opening and available to you. If you keep standing there staring at the closed door feeding your insecurity about whether that was the right choice, you're too distracted to see the new opportunities presenting themselves.
Move into trust, and if there is a space where you feel uncertain about whether a new opportunity will come, that's great, rest in that uncertainty.
knowledge is knowing something, and wisdom arrives in the not knowing.
Don't judge yourself for not closing the door sooner. Sometimes we just don't realize that it needs to be closed until we get a big kick in the ass from the Universe. It took an accident last week for me to come to this door I'm closing now, there were many other little nudges along the way that I noted and set aside until I forgot. I got what I needed, message received!
I will be sitting, listening and resting for the remainder of this month (minus one event on Summer Solstice). Being a keen observer and loving presence for this new version of me that is birthing. In-person transformational sessions are the only offerings I will have available for the foreseeable future, because that's were the deep work happens and I know that work fills my heart as much as it does for those taking the plunge. So if you need some help closing the door I have some summer dates available.
See you on the other side
Love and Blessings to you all