The Greatest Gift

July 2019-93

Perhaps the greatest gift I have been given in these past 6 years of inner work is the freedom to be who I am, to do what feels good, and right for me. What has been lost is the need for approval outside of myself. I no longer tolerate or bear the weight of others, the opinions of others, nor do I allow their judgments to sway how I live my life.

Meaning I don’t have to carry the weight of other people's shit. I’m cleaning up my own shit, that's what I’m responsible for.
I am not responsible for making you feel comfortable, 
I am not responsible for reflecting YOUR values, falling into line with what you think is right. I am responsible for MY values and creating boundaries for MYSELF.

So what has this freedom allowed me to do? Well, I will list a few things I did or still do now that would have made me worry about what others thought of me before.

I sleep on the floor.. Yes that's right, I used to wake up with a sore back, now I don’t. I am seeking to modify this a bit to suit my needs, but for the moment the floor is where I rest, it started with an extended camping trip where I realized how good I felt sleeping on the ground. So why would I go back to something that didn’t feel this good?

I don't have a “style,” I wear clothes that are COMFORTABLE, natural,  thrifted or local for the most part. Those are my values, I don't care what you think looks cool. I care what TV says is stylish.  I don’t care if my leggings have stretched a bit and are loose around the knees and bum. 

I don’t wear make-up much anymore, because I don’t want to, because I’m beautiful without it, even if you don’t think so. When I do wear make-up it's fun, it's art, and it's for ME.

I have an ice-cold shower every morning. There are many benefits to cold therapy, look it up. It's always a bit of a mental struggle getting in, but after, I feel like I just conquered the world, but really I just conquered my mind, flushed my organs, lymphatic system and circulated fresh blood to my entire body. Cool eh?

I go to bed early, like 9 pm usually, and I get up super early. It’s what works for me. My yoga practice fills me up and connects me with my soul, highest self, and to source. I don’t miss days, its too important to me, but I do change the practice to reflect how I’m feeling at the time.

I dive into as many interesting topics as I can, I have learned to embrace my seeking nature of learning about anything and everything that interests me. And being ok when I try something and then it falls away or stops resonating. Change is OK, and I’m changing constantly.

I don’t go out to many events, especially if they go late into the evening. I used to worry about missing out on things, but now I don’t, because I feel like shit when I don’t sleep well and don't get my morning routine in. 

I listen to mantra all day long lol, or dance to spiritual music. It feels good, and it's elevating and isn’t planting some kind of negative subliminal message.

I don’t do drama outside my imitate family. I don’t give any energy into that stuff. I’m still working on keeping it to a minimum at home, but we are a big family so it's bound to surface.

All entertainment is self-chosen. I don’t have satellite or cable. I don’t listen to the radio ever. I don’t give an ounce of energy to reality TV, or sports. Its podcasts, DVDs, youtube, or Netflix of my choosing. I know I can’t stay in the TV show loop, and I don’t keep up to the murders happening in Winnipeg but that doesn’t matter to me. If I need to know the weather I usually either look out the window OR step outside.

I stopped shaving & cutting my hair. There are beautiful yogic & indigenous perspectives on hair, why it grows where it does, and the value of allowing it to be where it was designed to be. I took this to heart, and upon some inner reflection,n I realized I was removing my hair for someone else, for society at large, not for me or even my husband. In fact, since stepping into my truth, claiming my divine feminine power, and honoring my body, he finds that a hell of a lot sexier then waxing my hair to look like our prepubescent daughters. It makes sense to me. 

I live in a small house right now, so I have the freedom to work less in the job I have and build a business of the things I love. And most importantly (for ME) be home, and present for my kids before and after school. They need me, and my presence makes them feel safe, secure, and important. Our parent-child attachment is the most important value I have.

I breastfed until my youngest kids until they were 4. Because I wanted to because I believed it was best for MY kids. And I even breastfed in public without a cover ALL THE TIME

I parent in a conscious & respectful way, you will have to read my previous blog on what thats all about. But basically, I don’t follow any main stream parenting “rules.”

I don’t like labels and don’t adopt them, or use them in my language. So It makes it difficult to describe myself, or place me in a box. I like it that way. It's so mysterious lol

So if I can’t relate, or resonate with certain people because I live this way, then I’m not meant to have a deep meaningful relationship with them. It doesn’t mean I don’t get along with people, quite the contrary, because I honor my own truth, I can more easily respect others, and just meet them where they are, even though they might not do the same things I do, why would they? They aren’t me and are not a reflection of me either. 

The more I peel back these layers of conditioning, the more I access my truth, and the freer I become.
It's such a blessing.

If you find it difficult to navigate your conditioning, I totally get it, it isn't easy and can be downright painful at times, but it's worth the effort if freedom is what you long for. 
If you are a conscious parent, longing to provide a different experience for your kids but feel like you need help navigating this, shoot me a message, I'm here to help.
I'm offering complimentary 40min phone sessions until the new year, (that's a $97 value!) so let me know if you'd like to hop on a call and discuss where you're feeling stuck.
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Freedom is our birthright
Happiness is our birthright
You only need to claim it



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